Apr 29, 2015

MY Hard Work


So,  here I am, I haven’t written in years.  Yes, I have wanted to, but I just wasn’t’ in the mindset.  Will I be consistent now?  Probably not.  Will I write when I am inspired?  I hope so!

I have been working hard at being more healthy and fit after the birth of my 4th baby.  I wouldn’t say it’s excrutiating, but I am making the time, I am putting in the effort and some weeks are awesome, and some weeks are less than awesome.  Lack of sleep, activities, and general life can make it difficult for me to fit in time for me.  That is what my life is, and I have come to realize that I don’t have all the time in the world to work out. So I have to make do with what I got.  And I make it a priority in my life.  I do this foremost for me.  Then I do it so my children see a great example of what being active and healthy look like. 

We talk often about nutrition, food, good choices.  We don’t often talk about exercise. They are kids,  they get exercise, they run, jump play and are in activites.  It is just done. Food is different, kids are in school, they have parties, they have hot dog day, they have grandparents, they have treats bombarded at them all the time.  This is why I try not to be the one to give it to them.  They get it from so many places I don’t’ need to be the one that enforces it even more.  Don’t get me wrong, they get treats from me.  We have it in the house on occasion, but for the most part, I like to keep my cabinets clean.  AND if it were in the house, my will power would give in and probably eat it anyway! 

So,  her is something that is bothering me.  I have had 2 recent experiences with women in my life who are commenting on my body.  One was a few women standing back eyeing me up and down and commenting  They weren’t trying to be mean, they actually came up to me after and were trying to give compliments.   I say trying because I felt very uncomfortable.  I was being ogled, by other moms.  I was being judged and scrutinized.    I said thank you and probably made a comment about working hard. I didn’t get the vibe that anyone wanted to really know what I was doing. 

The next was a Mom ‘ how are you so skinny?’ (I’ll let you know how I feel about that word in a minute)  and before I could even whisper the words ‘I work hard’  I had another friend say “oh, its her trainer’  Yes, I have a trainer,  yes I LOVE her to bits, and YES I wouldn’t be where I am now without her.  I see her once a week for 1 hour.  That is less than 1% of the week.  But what she does for my mind contributes to how I spend the other 99% of the week.   Yes, Krista teaches me techniques, skills, thoughts and boosts my confidence.  I have an instructor that I confide my difficulties in, my feelings of self doubt and my successes.  But it’s ME that has to deal with each and every one of those things.  It is ME that despite being my own busy, I do physical activity, I prepare the nutritious meals, it’s ME that has set up a plan that will help me succeed.   It is ME that has to coordinate my own children, my own business, and my own home in order.  I don’t always get to work out alone without kids, sometimes it a stroller, sometime another one is counting my reps, sometimes I am working out next to Paw Patrol.  I make it work. ME. ME ME.

I am beginning to resent the word skinny.  I use to want to be skinny, until I realized many years ago that there is a fat skinny.  A skinny where one may look good, but they can’t climb a flight of stairs.  They might not be able to run, and they may not be able to lift weights if their life depended on it.  I am NOT skinny, I am healthy, I am slim, I am strong, I am building muscle. I am not skinny.  

 I am 7 months post partum.  I am exercising anywhere from 30 minutes to 1.5 hours 4-5 times a week.  I make efficient use of those hours.  I work it in the time I have.  I do not push myself to utter exhaustion like I may have in the past.  I have the rest of the day to look after, I want to build energy not loose it. 

I hope that on your journey of health that you get to claim your successes.   You deserve to say the words ‘I work hard!’