My 4th Postpartum Journey

So Here I am  6 weeks ‘alone’ working out.  I no longer have my FitnessCoach  Krista to meet with once a week.  And it’s summer.  These are at least 2 things that could make it easy to excuse myself from working out, eating healthy and taking time for myself.  Trust me, I have faltered but I am dealing with it… and I am learning how to care for myself, by myself.  I am ok with it (after a little internal turmoil while on vacation)    A majority of my meals are still ½ veggies, and with that in mind I am enjoying wine more.  (heck my on call job starts soon, and I want to enjoy the wine while I can!)

I am learning how important strength training is in my life.  For me, eating healthy and running alone doesn’t give me the feeling of being great in my own skin.  I need muscle, I need core strength and I want it to feel good.  So, oddly enough, while I have lost weight these past few weeks, I feel ‘fat’ in my own skin.  I know I am not fat, it’s just an uncomfortable feeling that I am working through.  (oddly, while I still love the scale as a tool, this instance it wouldn’t be good to use it, because I don’t feel good even with weighing less) When September comes it will bring more routine to my life and I can add the weights back into my week once again.  

I do have to say that by having my Fitness Coach come to my home each week I knew the ONE thing that would be solid for me.  I knew that no matter what chaotic life I had during the week at home with all these kids, that Krista would be the consistency I needed to make it through.  And while this post isn't about her (sorry, love you and all) I want to say that hiring her was the best, most efficient money I have spent on myself in years. 

So,  it’s taken me a while to come to terms with my journey over the last 9-10 months.  I am nervous to share these photos.  I am nervous because I know I will be judged.  Good, bad, too skinny, too fat, too muscular, not enough muscle etc.  I am not looking for compliments to reassure myself,  I just know by putting this out there that someone is judging. I finally want to share this is because for the first time in my life I know that slow and steady wins the race, and I am coming out on top for MY personal goals.  And my slow journey may give someone else the reassurance to keep going. 

 

 The first was taken 3 months postpartum.  I hadn’t done much, but I was itching to move after being sedentary for about 6 months.  Looking back on that photo I don’t look good, but to be honest I felt pretty good.  People I told me I looked great after just having a baby too. (Do we just say that because we don’t know what else to say?!  Remind me to write about that in a blog later)  I had lost about ½ my baby weight in that photo too.  My second photo is 6 months postpartum.  Slow and steady!  I was so happy about my progress.  The last photo is 9 months postpartum.  

With all that I have improved on, what I mostly see is an HUGE improvement in my posture.  Never in my life would I have asked for that because I just didn’t think it was possible.  Yes, I lost weight, Yes I lost inches but what I gained is so much more!  I gained a butt! My WHOLE life I have made fun of myself because my ass was never an asset.  My pants constantly fell down because my waist was bigger than my butt.  This one improvement wasn’t on weight loss, or muscle building, I believe it was purely in the way I stand. 

I have gained confidence when I go out, I feel confident when I run, I feel confident when I work out.  .  Eat well every day for the majority of the day. (meaning who cares if I ate some chocolate, chips and or wine) I have 3 meals a day, I make them count as much as possible.

 Something is better than nothing is a new motto of mine.(thanks Krista!) Again I have 7 chances to work out/ exercise/ move my body. That is 30 or 31 chances a month.  If I can get in 26-31 chances to move my body I will.  It doesn’t have to be hard core, it doesn’t even have to be that challenging, a walk, a jog, a hike, I just have to move.

I have learned to talk positively to myself.   Yes, I ate chocolate (I am a sucker for anything with salt, caramel and chocolate) and I enjoyed it.  Yes, I had a crap day with the kids, but I give myself credit for the things I did do for myself that day.  When I start to get down on myself, I look at Map My Fitness its hard evidence of what I completed.

I don’t really want to share the measurements; I feel they are irrelevant to the general public. And truly it is about how I feel in my skin.  I will share that I lost about 5% body fat. I think this was reasonable and attainable because I am still breastfeeding.  I know some more will come off after my sweet little baby decides it time.    I still am trying to figure out my next goal and it’ll need to come quick because I want to keep motivated.

My journey is constantly changing, and I could go on and on and on about what I learned this last 10 months.  Be realistic with myself.  No, it’s talk positively with myself.  No,  it is do something every day. The truth is,it’s a combination of so many things.  I can’t narrow my journey to one lesson, because it has taken months and will continue to take a lifetime of learning to keep improving.    

So in the meantime, I will do the best I can for today.